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ask annaCanine Companions for Independence hosted a Twitter chat with author Dean Koontz and his dog, Anna, to celebrate the release of ASK ANNA!

Read the full Twitter chat below.

1.) Anna, how did Dean Koontz first find out that you had acquired your own computer and were involved in dispensing advice online?

Anna: First time in 10 years, Dad comes in home gym where I hide my computer. He wants to do 2 pushups. So I'm caught.

2.) Anna, why did you feel like you needed to hide your new hobby from Dean Koontz?

Anna: I was afraid Dad would make a book of my advice. I didn't want to start earning money & become IRS target.

3.) Does Dean Koontz ever give YOU advice as a new writer?

Anna: Yes. I listen intently. But only because I've trained him to give me a cookie with each bit of his advice.

4.) With ASK ANNA being your first book, Anna, was there anything you didn’t expect to happen that did?

Anna: I didn't realize I'd have to disguise myself as a pit bull to avoid the paparazzi.

5.) Anna, what’s the best advice you’ve given to a fellow dog?

Anna: Dogs must understand the word "fixed" doesn't always mean "made better."

6.) What’s the worst advice you’ve given to a fellow dog?

Anna: Told Jack Russell terrier, Eddie, "Don't do TV show FRASER 'cause Kelsey Grammar steals every scene." Feel so stupid.

7.) Did both you and DEAN KOONTZ mutually agree to donate proceeds to Canine Companions for Independence?

Anna: Dad first wanted half the proceeds to fund his Starbucks card. But he saw the light.

8.) If you could give dog owners a peace of advice on their pets, what would that be?

Anna: Tell dogs the truth when going to vet for inoculations. Don't call the shots "butt tickles."

9.) Are you a part of any writer groups with your fellow canines?

Anna: Dog-writer-group meetings always turn into chases or nether-parts sniffing sessions. No work gets done.

10.) In your book, ASK ANNA, you mention the mailman’s poodle, Pierre—does he still steal your treats sent by your admirers?

Anna: I caught the villainous Pierre on video. A major lawsuit is now being prepared.

11.) Anna, I'm a golden, too! Your hair is so lovely. What's your secret? -Lila

Anna: One bath a week at groomer. 2 daily comb-outs. Secret hair tips from Jennifer Anniston, not allowed to share.

12.) My sister, Bella, is a service dog but I don't have a job. Sometimes I feel like a lazy pup. What can I do? - Stu

Anna: Being dog, you bring joy to everyone. Being dog IS your job. To do it well, try not to fart much.

13.) What's your favorite food for dinner? - Max

Anna: Venison & potatoes, green beans, chopped egg whites, a little fruit after, + vintage Napa tap water.

14.) Do you eat lunch? The humans all eat lunch. What about us? – Cynthia

Anna: All I get for a lunch treat is half a banana, sliced. Sometimes I wonder if Dad thinks I'm a monkey.

15.) Any advice Anna for a middle-aged bulldog looking for love? – Sam

Anna: Stay away from Craig's List.

16.) I'm in love with the collie next door. Any ideas for the perfect date? – Sugar

Anna: I KNOW that collie, Sugar. What you need is a human chaperone with pepper spray.

17.) I love going to school w/my human but I can't get a grip on algebra. I'm supposed to be very smart, help! – Dill

Anna: Dogs aren't geeks. Math is for geeks. Dogs are gifted poets and literary analysts.

18.) Hey, Anna, my humans don't take me on vacation.  How can I convince them to? – Lucy

Anna: Repeated "surprises" in their shoes w/vacation brochures left nearby should work.

19.) Anna, would you lend your name to dog olympics if I can get it off the ground? - Jack

Anna: Maybe. Write me snail mail for my endorsement fee as expressed in pounds of peanut butter.

20.) Anna, do you think cats should be allowed in dog families? – Boxer

Anna: Of course. Every family needs someone to be the butt of their jokes. And I do mean butt.

21.) How do I get the cat to stop landing on my back? - Fin

Anna: Once the cat's aboard, race through the pet door and knock it tail-over-tea-kettle.

22.) I hate bacon but my owner insists on buying it for me. How can I explain that I want cheese instead? – Daisy

Anna: Send me the bacon. I'll send you cheese. Barter isn't taxable.

23.) My paws freeze in the winter. Do you know where I can find a pair of cute booties? - Lil

Anna: Living in CA, I don't know from booties. But I could send you an earthquake-preparedness kit.

24.) I hate the snobby cat that lives next door. Can you help me put him in his place? – Mickey

Anna: If the cat sees you frequently reading Proust, he'll be mortified by his comparative ignorance.

25.) Anna, my brother loves swimming in the ocean, but I’m afraid of the water. What to do? – Blue

Anna: There are sharks in the ocean. Prepare yourself emotionally for soon being an only child.

26.) My parents get mad when I visit my friends in the neighborhood. How do I tell them I’m not running away? - Pugs

Anna: Bring your friends home for sleepovers instead. Unless one of them is a thieving poodle named Pierre.


Follow Dean Koontz on Twitter: @DeanKoontz, and find Anna on Facebook:

All author proceeds for ASK ANNA go to Canine Companions for Independence!

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